Step-families are the fasting growing type of family in the UK, making up 10 per cent of all families with dependent children. It has been estimated that there are now more step-families than nuclear families and men are becoming increasingly likely to be living with other men’s children whilst their own grow up else where1.
The majority of children stay with their mother following a divorce or separation and most stepfamilies have a stepfather as opposed to a stepmother. If you are a step parent, have you thought about the following:-
Who would look after your biological children if your ex-partner passed away?
Would you be happy for the step-father/mother to have guardianship over the children if your ex-partner passed away?
Let’s have a look at an example:
Dave is a stepfather to a 10 year-old Mia and biological father to 2 boys Tom, aged seven and four year old Oliver. Dave is not married to Ellen who is biological mother to Mia, Tom and Oliver. Mia sees her biological father, Gareth, occasionally.
So, if Ellen died first, who would have parental responsibility and guardianship for Mia? Dave? Her biological father? What would Ellen have wanted? What rights would Dave have over Mia as he was not married to Ellen?
The simplest solution would have been from Ellen to have made a Will setting out her wishes for Mia. The guardianship part of a will is the most important aspect if you are a parent.
We find that most parents with young children seem to think “wills are for people older than 50” or think they have “nothing to leave as the house is not paid off or I only have a little bit of savings.”
So what are the possibilities if you don’t make a will in this situation?
Young children could be taken into care whilst guardians are appointed. If a parent dies and leaves a child within a family unit that has a step parent then in most cases the custody of the child would go to the surviving biological parent. In Ellen and Dave’s situation, Gareth may have rights over Mia’s living arrangements and Mia may even have to grow up without Tom and Oliver. Is this even what Gareth wants? Does Gareth have a new family to which all this would impact upon?
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1 Grant, H. (2006) The State of the Nation Report – fractured families.